Cliché
by InfinityZero1
Summary: Yuuri's harem consists of the yandere Viktor, the tsundere Yurio, the motherly Otabek, the teaser Christophe, and the ball of sunshine named Phichit. What's Yuuri's life like with these people all living under his roof? A severe understatement is hectic. Making fun of a harem fic. HaremXYuuri, M for safety, Shield your eyes! Smut-ish, Crack-ish, PWP-ish.
1. The Beginning

**I hate harems for the lack of character development and the "plot". I am a girl, keep in mind. This is basically going to be something akin to five chapters and this is not a one-shot.**

 **Summary: Yuuri's harem consists of the yandere Viktor, the tsundere Yurio, the chill Otabek, the teaser Christophe, and the jumpy Phichit. What's Yuuri's life like with all of these people living under his roof at Yu-topia? Me making fun of harems.**

 **M FOR SAFETY. I DON'T OWN YURI! ON ICE.**

* * *

 _Cliché_

*Kick*

"Ouchh…"

*Kick*

"Stoppp it…"

*Tumble*

Yuuri Katsuki fell onto his bedroom floor. He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to make the pain go away. He blinked his eyes from the ground and looked at the pile of limbs all on his twin sized bed.

"Not again…" Yuuri groaned.

The Japanese dime in a dozen figure skater looked up to his black alarm clock. 2:15 am.

He placed his hand on the floor to get up and pulled the beige blanket off the bed. Five people's full bodies were seen and they had been cuddling each other under the blankets.

"Yuuri…" Viktor moaned into Phichit's ear.

Phichit's dream about everyone skating in Thailand popped. "Uh?"

"Yuuri, my little katsudon…" Viktor moaned once more.

Phichit's eyes opened wide. He flipped around on the bed and was very disturbed to find Viktor spooning him.

"EWWW! Get away from meee!" Phichit cried, looking around for his savior. "Yuuuuuriii! Save me!"

Phichit jumped from the bed, walking the others up, and flopped into Yuuri's arms. Yuuri couldn't handle the mass of sunshine and ended up being straddled.

"Yuuri," Viktor's eyes gleamed with hatred while looking at Phichit. "What're you doing, my katsudon?"

"It's, It's, IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!" Yuuri yelled from his position on the floor.

Phichit leaned in close to Yuuri's ear. "I can make it what it looks like…"

The tsundere Yurio hopped like a panther to wrestle Phichit off his em… not boyfriend.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKER! GET AWAY FROM MY YUURI!" Yurio yelled as he clawed at Phichit.

"Oh my…" Christophe said from the bed, in his birthday suit.

Otabek looked at Yuuri who was still on the floor and got up from the bed. He walked away swiftly to the kitchen to make breakfast, they weren't going to fall asleep after this.

Viktor saw that Christophe, Yurio, and Phichit were occupied and decided that it was time to strike. Viktor pounced onto Yuuri's small form and held both of his fists down before bringing his lips toward his little Katsudon.

Yuuri's tongue was unable to fight Viktor's and he moaned in his mouth. He was submissive towards Viktor and didn't really mind it.

When Yuuri and Viktor were making out, Phichit and Yurio stopped fighting, they had felt lust in the air.

Phichit had his back on the ground and was looking up behind Yurio's shoulder, he stopped fighting and stared.

"Oi, what're you doing?" Yurio asked angrily.

Phichit used one of his hands to point.

"You motherfucker, Viktor," Yurio said.

That was when Yuuri gained three people forcefully trying to have sex with him. Christophe decided to get onto his phone and take a video for-uh… "safe keeping"

"S-S-Stop it," Yuuri moaned from the three people teasing him.

They didn't stop, Yuuri's cries were music to their ears.

"W-What *breath*if my mom *breath* comes in…?" Yuuri asked.

"It's okay," Viktor cooed. "There's no way that'd happen…"

The door opened, revealing Yuuri's mother. "Excuse me! I'm coming in, Otabek-kun said that you'd want some… tea." She dropped the tea set she had been holding. Her face became rose red but she smiled, crinkling her eyes.

"Good luck, you three," She said to them.

She waved a little wave as she shut the door.

Yuuri couldn't stop looking at the door.

"Oh my god."

"Oh well," Viktor said before brandishing a knife from his back pocket.

"Get the hell away from my little katsudon," Viktor seethed to Phichit and Yurio.

"Oi, I-I-It's not like I like him or anything?!" Yurio exclaimed.

"SAVE ME!" Phichit yelled as he grabbed his phone and opened up Instagram, took a picture of the scene behind him, and posted it.

Yuuri turned back to the chaos and grabbed from his glasses next to his alarm clock. He blinked a couple times and got a glimpse of the picture which Phichit posted. It showed him half naked being mounted by Viktor holding a hunting knife towards Yurio, Christophe making an obscene expression on his face with a hard-on, Yurio holding his hands up in a defensive formation against Viktor, and Phichit crying with half of his face in the photo.

"DELETE IT NOW!" Yuuri screamed while trying to grab the phone.

Phichit was nimble, he skillfully kept the phone away from Yuuri.

"Ooohhh, look 1K likes already!" Phichit had a look of lust on his face while seeing the like count.

"Yuuri, come back here!" Viktor said in a singsong voice.

*BANG*

"Food's done!" Otabek said from the doorway, in a naked apron costume.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?" Yurio yelled in his tiger striped pajamas.

Christophe got up from the bed and looked at Yuuri. He strode towards him in one step and kissed him full on the lips.

Christophe whispered into Yuuri's ear, "I'll be waiting for you underneath the kotatsu."

Yuuri watched him leave and said, "I can't believe you people, why can't I have peace and quiet?!"

Viktor put down his knife and said, "Because I love you Yuuri."

"We all do," Phichit said.

"I-I don't!" Yurio said.

"Then why were you in Yuuri's bed, moaning Yuuri's name?" Otabek asked from the doorframe.

Yuuri's pointer fingers began poking each other's and he gained rosy cheeks. "W-well that's because…" He trailed off. "Because I like him…" Yurio said in a voice to quiet to hear.

"What?" Otabek questioned.

"I'M NOT SAYING IT AGAIN, BAKA!"

"You know what," Yuuri said, "I don't care anymore."

Yuuri walked out of his room, leaving Viktor, Yurio, Otabek, and Phichit alone.

"Hey," Otabek said to the others, "I've got an idea…"

* * *

 **This entire fanfic is me making fun of harems. If you haven't noticed, I have used the "Mother walks in and says "goodluck" cliche, the "Falls down groping a girl's boob" cliché, naked apron cliché, and the Tsundere says they like the MC but they don't say it loud enough cliché.**

 **I AM A FAN OF VICTUURI AND OTABEK AND YURIO, I WOULD NORMALLY PUT THEM TOGETHER IN EVERY CIRCUMSTANCE BUT I JUST WANTED TO MAKE THIS CRAP.**

 **IF YOU WANT SOMEONE ELSE ADDED INTO THIS HAREM PLEASE REVIEW IT TO ME.**

 **I hope you all have a nice day, evening, morning, or night.**

 **Bye.**


	2. Almost Kidnapped

**This is an hour after I first published this, I'm still laughing. I'm not kidding.**

 **I literally fell like I've defiled YOI. In the M section there's all this 20 reviews and 40 follow stories around my own s***! I find it hilarious! I'm still laughing.**

 **TELL ME IF YOU WANT ANYONE ELSE IN ON THIS HAREM! I WELCOME CRITICISM.**

 **I hope you got a laugh out of the first chapter, this is less crack, sadly :P.**

* * *

 _Cliché 2_

Yuuri's walking out the room was his downfall.

"Hey," Otabek said to the others, "I've got an idea… at the skating rink… JJ… beat… force…"

Yurio, Viktor, and Phichit all nodded their heads at the man in a naked apron costume.

"OIII," Yuuri called from down the hall, "your food will get cold!"

"HAAAIII!" Viktor called from the bedroom.

Just before Viktor left the room, he looked back. "I can trust you… right?"

"Of course!" Phichit exclaimed.

Otabek nodded his head.

"I see," Viktor replied while walking down the hall, clutching his blunt knife in his back pajama pocket.

' _I should sharpen it soon…'_ Viktor thought.

Phichit and Otabek walked out of the room side by side with Yurio trailing behind. Phichit walked with his phone close to his face, personally messaging Jean-Jacques Leroy on Instagram.

"Done," Phichit said to the two unwanted harem members around him.

Phichit moved his arms out into an airplane formation as he ran through the hallway, when he made it to the kotatsu, he ran up and threw himself at Yuuri again.

"Get off of me!" Yuuri exclaimed while holding his chopsticks and bowl of rice in each of his hands.

"I don't want to!" Phichit pouted.

Viktor's blue eyes shined with hatred, his black chopsticks snapped in his hand.

"Get off him," Viktor seethed.

Phichit kept his arms around Yuuri's neck when he looked at Viktor.

"It- It hurts, Phichit," Yuuri whined.

The Russian skater stood up and glared at Phichit. "CAN'T YOU SEE HE DOESN'T LIKE IT? GET THE FUCK OFF OF HIM!" Viktor shouted at the Thai man.

Phichit was scared straight, he let go of Yuuri and put his feet underneath the kotatsu, only to find an almost fully naked Christophe underneath it, looking at Yuuri's legs as if they were an angel's.

Phichit's eyes grew enormous. "What the? Christophe, you have a leg fetish?"

Christophe jolted upwards, his head bumped the table from underneath.

"Eh?" Yuuri questioned the moving table.

Christophe looked up from Yuuri's legs to Phichit. Christophe put a finger to his lips, signaling to be quiet.

Viktor noticed Phichit's weird behavior and looked underneath the table.

' _What the fuck are they doing to my little katsudon?'_ Viktor thought, _'Christophe? Whatever, as long as he doesn't do anything to my little katsudon…''_

Yurio and Otabek finally arrived into the kitchen and sat down across from one another. They both grabbed their bowls of rice and began grabbing pieces of mackerel from the plate in front of them. It tasted fine but a little sweet.

Yurio, Viktor, Otabek, Phichit, and Yuuri felt their movements become slower and slower.

' _There's something in the food,'_ Phichit deduced.

When Phichit couldn't keep his eyes fully open any longer, he looked underneath the kotatsu. Christophe was smirking.

They all lost consciousness at the same time.

Christophe army crawled underneath the table and put his hands on his hips, "HHAHAH! I'VE DONE IT, ALL OF MY RIVALS ARE INCAPACITATED!"

Christophe moved his eyes from the ceiling to Yuuri's unconscious form. He went and sat on the kotatsu.

"What shall I do now?" Christophe asked the sleeping bodies around him.

Just as soon as Christophe held the ropes to tie Yuuri up, he began to doubt himself.

"Is this really what I want? Do I really want to possibly destroy my relationship with Yuuri? I'm so thankful for him lending me a pen for autographs…I became obsessed because of him that day…" Christophe began to rock his head side to side and his face became rose red.

"Huh?" Yuuri's eyes blinked awake.

"Wah?" Yuuri yelled out to the Christophe in front of him. "W-W-What are you doing?"

Christophe eyed the rope in his right hand, "I'm sorry, Yuuri. I won't cheat next time."

Christophe threw the rope away into the kitchen and went to hug Yuuri, tears started to form in his eyes. He cried loudly as Yuuri comforted him.

"It's okay, it's okay…" Yuuri soothed Christophe.

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT! YOU'LL PAY!" Viktor screamed, walking up from a nightmare.

With Christophe still in his arms, Yuuri's eyes met Viktor's blue ones. The Russian skater's eyes trailed down slowly to the person crying on him.

"Why, why are you not giving me your attention?" Viktor asked with his head to the ground.

"W-What are you talking about, Viktor?" Yuuri questioned.

"YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING ONLY WITH ME ANYMORE!" Viktor yelled as he held his knife in his pocket.

"What…?"

"IT'S TRUE!" Viktor yelled, tears coming out from his eyes, "We-we haven't been alone since nationals last year."

"But I'm still next to you! I'm always there, it doesn't matter if were alone or not! Right?" Yuuri said, also gaining tears into his own eyes.

Viktor stepped on Yurio's sleeping form when he ran out to Hasetsu's ice rink. He needed to cool down and sharpen his knife.

"VIKTOR!" Yuuri called after him.

The door slammed.

Yurio, Otabek, and Phichit all woke up.

"Christophe!" Phichit yelled, "Why'd you poison the food!?"

The Thai man began to rip Christophe from Yuuri and shake him back and forth.

"You bastard! Trying to steal Yuuri from us!" Phichit scolded.

The Otabek in a naked apron costume looked around, "Where's Viktor?"

"He-He left me," Yuuri responded.

"Viktor left?" Yurio questioned the Japanese skater.

"It's-It's all my fault!" Yuuri cried.

* * *

 **For this chapter, I used the "Harem member gains alone time with Protagonist but never uses it" cliché, the "Harem member gets jealous for just the protagonist comforting someone" cliché, the "Running away when angry" cliché, the "Protagonist gains another harem member for a stupid reason such as borrowing a pencil" cliché, and the "Protagonist gets mad at himself" cliché.**

 **I really don't see myself making these chapters more than 1k words, I normally would but that doesn't fit my whole "Harem crack" theme. Literally, the first chapter with the random screaming comments such as, "WHAT THE FUCK?" are the things that I really say during harems. They're so illogical.**

 **I have read your review and I will put JJ in on the next chapter.**

 **IF YOU WANT ANOTHER CHARACTER IN THIS STORY, REVIEW IT TO ME!**

 **I'll see you people tomorrow!**

 **Bye!**


	3. IT'S JJ STYLE

**Hello again, I'm back with more crack.**

 **I didn't update yesterday because I had to update my other fic.**

 **I didn't even know what an airport terminal was before I wrote this.**

* * *

 _Cliche 3_

Jean-Jacques Leroy in a pair of sunglasses and orange sweatshirt stood in front of the airport terminal. Hundreds of people were in front of him, rushing towards their flights, sleeping on the benches, or playing on the phones.

JJ breathed a sigh of relief as he let go of his luggage bag and took out his IPhone 7 Plus. He quickly unlocked it and read Phichit's message to him again.

"JJ, we have sum sweet JJ style shit goin' down at Ice Castle Hasetsu! We need yr a$$ here now." were the words on the screen.

Phichit was pretty gangster, Jean deduced when he'd first seen the pm.

Jean turned his phone off as he went looking for the driver in the terminal with the sign "Leroy" on it. He slipped through the crowd without someone noticing that he was one of the best figure skaters in the world and quickly found the driver who wore a black suit.

"Can you drive me to Hasetsu, please?" Jean asked the driver in english.

"Of course."

"It's not JJ style if I, JJ, am not there…" Jean spoke to himself in the back of the limousine.

* * *

 _In Hasetsu_

"Where's Viktor?"

"He-He left me," Yuuri responded.

"Viktor left?" Yurio questioned the Japanese skater.

"It's-It's all my fault!" Yuuri cried.

Yurio, Christophe, Otabek, and Phichit were very confused at this moment. Nobody would ever believe that he would just downright leave Yuuri alone with them. They all knew about his yandere tendencies, they'd imagined that he'd try to kill everyone before he'd run away.

"We can't," Otabek started. "We can't let the harem end this way. We haven't used the 'Goes to the beach in episode 6-8' cliche yet."

"We haven't given our viewers that boob jiggling fan service yet," Christophe added.

"You-You guys are so perverted!" Yuuri choked out.

"And I haven't dressed up into a neko maid cosplay yet for the school festival," Yurio said.

"That's true," everyone in the room agreed, including Yuuri.

"It'll be okay, Yuuri," Phichit cooed. "You'll definitely be able to get Viktor back! He's probably at the most cliche place like the ice skating rink now!"

"Really?" Yuuri wiped his tears.

"It's obvious, Baka Katsudon," Yurio corroborated.

Yuuri got up from the floor and yelled, "I SWEAR I'LL GET VIKTOR BACK AND SOLVE HIS PROBLEMS!"

The other harem members clapped their hands.

"Now," Yurio said to Yuuri as he punched him on the shoulder, "how about we go get Viktor back?"

Yuuri ran out of his kitchen and grabbed his coat and scarf. He sat down on the ledge as he grabbed his snow boots and put them on.

"We'll be rooting for you!" Christophe yelled from down the hall.

"YOOOOSHHAAA!" Yuuri yelled as he shut the door behind him.

Yuuri was immediately met with a blast of cold wind, it blew his hair around sporadically but he kept running through the snow.

Cars passed by with their brights on, it was impossible to see a quarter of a mile in front because of the snowstorm. Yuuri breathed hard as he ran the path he had taken hundreds of times. His ears were red along with his fingers as he ran blindly in the snow.

His feet hit the steps before he knew it.

"Viktor!" Yuuri yelled once he got inside the building after throwing open the door.

"VIKTOR!"

Yuuri tugged his winter coat off his figure before flinging his shoes off also. He ran to the skating rink doors to find Viktor.

There he was.

"Viktor!" Yuuri yelled once more. "Please! Don't leave me! Don't let me go! Please don't go away from me! You're everything to me! You helped me skate again! I only think of you when I'm on the ice! You've sacrificed everything for me and I understand that! I love you, Viktor! Please, just don't leave me, I need you with me…"

Viktor stopped his mindless skating and looked up at Yuuri with tears in his eyes.

"Yuuri…"

"Please, Viktor."

Yuuri ran to the opening of the rink as Viktor skated as fast as humanly possible to Yuuri's arms.

The clashed, their limbs and their lips.

It was perfect until clapping was heard in the stands.

JJ stood up with a smile on his face after he put his phone down.

"That confession was totally… JJ STYLE!" JJ made two J signs using his thumbs and index fingers.

Yuuri and Viktor looked away from each other to the unwanted man.

"What're you doing here?" Viktor asked him.

"Mister Phichit asked me to come over to Ice Castle Hasetsu, is that a problem?" JJ responded.

…

"Oh well, where's that cat lady thing?" JJ said, "I'd thought that he'd be here with you."

"Yurio?" Yuuri asked while still embracing Viktor.

"Yes, a cat lady thing, that's what I said."

"You shouldn't-" Yuuri said before being cut off from Viktor.

"He's at home."

"I see, then I can't show him this video early then." JJ pointed to his phone.

"Video, what video?" Yuuri asked.

"This," JJ showed the two his screen.

"Is-Is-DID YOU PUT THAT UP ON YOUTUBE?!" Yuuri exclaimed, breaking away from Viktor's grasp.

"What's wrong with that, it's JJ STYLE!"

Yuuri began to flail his arms to the Canadian figure skater behind the glass, his entire face red as a tomato, only to be restrained by an all smiles Viktor behind him.

"It's okay, Yuuri. We'll have nothing to hide…" Viktor soothed Yuuri.

*BZZZZ*  
Yuuri stopped his erratic behavior and checked his phone in his pocket.

~2310 New Messages~ were the words on his screen.

"Who texted you, my little Katsudon?" Viktor asked in a playful manner.

"It's nobody, nothing really," Yuuri replied.

"Ohhh? Really, because I know when you're lying," Viktor said.

Yuuri relinquished his phone to him. He watched in fascination as Viktor speedread all of the messages and blocked all of the users who sent them.

"It's okay, Yuuri," Viktor said, "Jean won't make any trouble for you anymore if you just ask me to..." Viktor smiled at Yuuri.

"Let's go home," Yuuri said.

"Let's," the silver haired Russian skater agreed.

"I'm coming with," JJ said, still behind the glass, "I had assumed I'd be staying a few days so I cleared my schedule."

"I'm sorry," Viktor said with a glare, "but that's not happening."

Viktor threw a butter knife right at the glass.

* * *

 **I don't really think that I need to say what I made fun of in this chapter except for the "Harem members allow Protag to find other harem member (rival)" the "Protag yells about getting stronger" from shounen anime and the "Protag runs through rough conditions to get to most loved harem member" cliche.**

 **I actually have a fun time writing this, believe it or not.**

 **NEXT CHAPTER IS WITH JJ. SOME WEIRD STUFF IS GOING TO HAPPEN IN NEXT CHAPTER JUST SAYIN'**

 **I hope you had a good laugh, thank you.**

 **Bye.**


	4. New World

**Welcome back to more crack! I'm really surprised that about 20 people like this! It makes me really happy that I make you laugh.**

 **I'll just say, the tsunderes and the yanderes are usually the ones to get the protagonist in harem anime, they use force to control them/fall in love with the nice side of them, I don't think I've seen one where a kuudere or dandere gets the man :/ (Angel Beats isn't harem if you're thinking about that)**

 **I don't mean any offence to Re:Zero. I myself enjoyed it since the third episode.**

 **91 Days… ;(((( Watch it. Watch it. Watch it.** _ **WatchitWatchitWatchitWatchit.**_

* * *

 _Cliché 4_

"I'm coming with," JJ said, still behind the glass, "I had assumed I'd be staying a few days so I cleared my schedule."

"I'm sorry," Viktor said with a glare, "but that's not happening."

Viktor threw a butter knife right at the glass. It bounced back.

Yuuri blinked at the knife which had clattered onto the floor.

"Viktor!" Yuuri scolded, "What are you doing!? That could've hurt him!"

"Exactly~!" Viktor spoke while holding Yuuri's face in his hands.

"You seriously have some problems," Jean deduced. "I'll just go to the Yu-topia then."

Jean walked out of the bleachers area and walked out the door.

"My little katsudon, I lov-"

*Ring Ring*

Yuuri took out his phone saw the caller ID.

It was Otabek.

"I'm sorry, Viktor," Yuuri said, apologetically, "I need to take this."

' _Just when you told me that you'd pay more attention to me from now on…'_ Viktor thought as he went and grabbed the knife from off the ice.

"Yuuri," Otabek said through the phone, "Christophe, Yurio, and Phichit are fighting over who loves you most. They're running around the kotatsu and throwing forks and plates at the walls."

Yuuri head most likely a plate break over the phone.

"Anyways, I'd be bad if someone were to come here during this time. I don't know how to resolve this issue without you here, Yuuri," Otabek said his name underneath his breath.

"That really sounds horrible," Yuuri replied. "I'll be there soon with Viktor."

"Well, anyways-" Otabek continued.

'IT'S JJ STYLE!" Jean had burst into the room.

Yurio stopped his fight with Phichit and Christophe and growled, "Why's _he_ here?"

"Do I need a reason, Neko-chan?" Jean said to the now blushing Yurio.

"Yes, you do, Baka!" Yurio stammered.

"What, do you think I'll steal Yuuri from you?" Jean teased.

"BAKA! A-A-As if I'd like him!" Yurio yelled as his face was as red as a tomato.

"Oh my," Christophe said with a little brush of red on his cheeks.

"At any rate, Yuuri," Otabek said, "Please come home."

Yuuri tapped the red hang up button and turned around to Viktor pushing the ice off his knife.

"Viktor, something's happening at the house, we have to get back."

"I have you right here for myself, why should we go back?"

"Viktor, stop messing around."

"I'm not."

Viktor began to take skate slowly on the ice to Yuuri.

"It'll all be okay," Viktor mused, "That's what you always say to me, right?"

"Y-Yeah…"

"Their fight wont last long, my little Katsudon. If we just wait, it will all go away. Everything will be better."

Yuuri began to step backwards on the ice, he faced Viktor as he stumbled to the exit.

"Viktor, calm down," Yuuri frantically said.

"I am calm," Viktor said in a distorted, stoic voice.

Yuuri fell.

"Viktor, please," Yuuri pleaded,

Viktor didn't stop, he kept getting closer and closer, frightening Yuuri more.

"PLEASE, GET AWAY FROM ME!"

* * *

The world around Yuuri began to fade to a bright white. Silhouettes began to appear in his vision and he blinked his eyes multiple times.

He realized that he was soaring through the air, gravity making itself known.

He, of course, screamed during his descent. That was until he saw a blond haired teen in a tiger striped pajamas.

"HEEEEELLLLPPPPPP MEEEEE!" Yuuri screamed from above.

Yurio looked away from Otabek and up to the sky, did he just hear something?

"WHOA, WHAT THE FUCK?!" Yurio screamed as he looked up at his figure skating senpai.

Christophe and Otabek held their mouths open in an 'O' formation as Phichit yelled, "Whoooaaaahhh… you're certainly rocking it, Yuuri!"

Phichit took a photo of the freefalling Yuuri on his IPhone but then remembered that he was in an alternate world, without WIFI.

"IT'S HORRIBLE, EVERYONE!" Phichit yelled as he looked at his phone.

Otabek, Christophe, and JJ looked to the Thai skater. "What's wrong?"

"There's no WIFI!" Phichit announced.

"HELLPPPP MMEE!"

"What are you doing!?" Yurio yelled at the men as he looked at Yuuri.

"What's wrong?"

"You'reeee… all…. BAKAS!" Yurio screamed to the alternate Earth.

Yuuri was getting closer and closer to the ground when he decided to see if Viktor was behind him, everyone else was there so why not him?

Viktor wasn't behind him.

He honestly didn't know what had happened with Viktor back there, he knew he was violent but was too ignorant to not see the yandere side of him.

"Help me catch him!" Yurio pleaded.

"I thought you didn't like him," JJ mused.

"I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!" Yurio yelled with his face as red as a tomato.

Yuuri fell right on top of Yurio's form, his legs were on both sides of his body and his hands were where a girl's breasts would be.

Yurio still had the face of a tomato while Yuuri groped him.

"I-I-I I'm SOO SORRYY!" Yuuri yelled, he groped Yurio's chest as he did so.

"Get off me, b-baka…" Yurio's face had cooled down to a soft pink color.

Yuuri sat on top of the other man's stomach for a moment too long. He ended up getting slapped on his cheek.

"You're thirsty," Christophe said while eyeing the situation.

"No, I'M NOT!" Yuuri defended himself as he held his hand to the mark on his face.

"I wish I could be dominated like Yuuri like that," Phichit said with a lusty face.

Christophe punched Phichit's form. "If it all goes according to plan, that could happen."

Phichit began to hug himself, twist his legs, and take his imagination too far.

"HAHAHAHHHAHAH!" JJ laughed out with his hands on his hips. "What the fuck is this? Are we in some anime or some shit? Isn't it that cartoon 'I'll go protect the world' Japanese stuff?"

Yuuri let his hand go away from his face. "What did you just say?"

* * *

 **This is much less crack than the first chapter. I plan to have these guys in this fantasy world for a few chapters (probably 2 or 3) I can really only think of doing crap with the ugh *bleegh* beast girls and elf girls along with the beach stuff which I had mentioned in chapter 2.**

 **I hope that you still enjoy this even with the less amount of crack.**

 **Bye.**


	5. Basically Kidnapped

**Welcome back to Cliché, this is a real "WTF" story where I piece together clichés in harem and normal shounen animes/mangas and I use YOI characters.**

 **I have lost 80% of my confidence today and have gained 60% to my hatred towards humans today. I really need to yell or scream or something to get this out.**

 **I went and took out my old 7** **th** **grade vocab book for this. Dunno why I kept it.**

 **I said to shield your eyes.**

* * *

 _Cliché 5_

"HAHAHAHHAHAH!" JJ laughed out with his hands on his hips. "What the fuck is this? Are we in some anime or some shit? Isn't it that cartoon 'I'll go protect the world' Japanese stuff?"

Yuuri let his hand go away from his face. "What did you just say?"

Phichit yelled out, "OH SHIT! He's TRIGGERED!"

Yurio balled up his fists and yelled at Phichit, "Why are you using that meme! It's fucking 2017!"

"I'm right, aren't I?" JJ continued.

Yuuri went onto a rant about anime not being cartoons and how there are some really amazing stories made as anime. He himself didn't watch much, with school and figure skating, but he did watch Death Note and Fullmetal Alchemist.

JJ didn't care and kept his opinion about the matter. He kept bouncing back responses and that made Yuuri even madder.

Otabek was the one to get in front of them and push them away from the other.

"Just stop! Haven't you noticed where we are?!" Otabek yelled in the middle of the Canadian and Japanese Skater.

Yuuri looked behind Otabek's shoulder, there were on a beach surrounded by neko girls, lizard men, elves, and demons staring at them confusedly.

Yuuri's eye's widened tremendously and his lips curved downwards.

"We're really in another world?" Yuuri asked his harem members around him.

"It seems like it," Christophe corroborated.

Yurio ran to Yuuri's side and grabbed his arm. He put it right in the middle of his chest, right where there would be two breasts if he was a girl.

"BAKAS, HE'S MINE!" Yurio yelled instinctively.

"Let go of me, Yurio!" Yuuri whined.

JJ looked at the crowd, "We should probably stop attracting attention…"

"Why?" Phichit asked.

Otabek went and grabbed JJ's, Yurio's, Christophe's, and Yuuri's arm, getting ready to guide them away.

"Viktor is…?" Otabek asked Yuuri.

"He didn't come with apparently," Yuuri finished.

Phichit, Christophe, Otabek, and Yurio looked at one another.

"He's. . . gone?" Christophe asked.

Yuuri nodded his head.

That was when Christophe, Yurio, Phichit, and Otabek grabbed onto Yuuri's upper arm and pulled him into the woods next to the beach, leaving a trail of footprints in the sand on the beach.

"Uh? Are you just going to leave me here?" JJ said to the group of people gradually getting farther and farther away. "Okay . . ."

JJ looked at the creatures around him. "Anyone want music?"

* * *

 _Woods_

"G-Guys? Where are we going?" Yuuri obliviously asked.

Christophe was the one who pulled Yuuri the most forceful and Yurio was the one who pulled as a tug, he didn't want to hurt his baka senpai.

Their plan was in action. Well, it wasn't the initial plan which was them beating Yuuri at skating and forcing him to do a dare from them which involved stripping off his shirt in a sexy way and dry humping the air, but it still sufficed.

Viktor the Yandere wasn't here. He couldn't interfere with their plans. The harem members all wanted Yuuri to themselves but they were okay with sharing if they had their share.

They pulled him through the woods and pushed him down against the brown soil. They all held down one body part each as Phichit took a rag out of his jacket pocket and stuffed it in his mouth.

"MMMM, MMMMPHH!" Yuuri tried to shout.

"It'll be okay," Christophe mewed.

Yuuri's eyes opened wider and he began hyperventilating. His arms were pinioned underneath his back and his legs were bound to the ground, courtesy of his harem members.

Christophe was the first one to precipitate the madness of lust. He gingerly slid his dexterous fingers across Yuuri's inner thighs, getting closer to the trembling hips of Yuuri.

Phichit, Otabek, and Yurio heard the wanton moans of the man under them. They saw Christophe's unbridled perennial actions towards him and wanted to do better.

Phichit went to Yuuri's neck and Otabek went to his stomach after ripping his shirt off his figure. All their attacks were not terse, as Yuuri's cries disseminated throughout the forest.

When Yuuri found himself subjugated, a silver haired Russian man jumped down from a tree in front of Yuuri.

"Get away from my little Katsudon! You'll sully him!" Viktor seethed while brandishing a knife.

"Come on, Viktor, we just want to have our little fun," Christophe unflinchingly said.

"This isn't fun . . ."

"MMMPPHH!" Yuuri said once more.

Yuuri looked up in pleasure made tears at the deadlock. He still had his mouth closed tight and had no way of getting out of the vines covering his hands.

The diabolic Viktor brandished his butter knife which had been sharpened recently as he tantalized his rivals.

They all knew he wasn't the cherubic personality that the TV generally showed. Viktor had fabricated that personality especially for the camera, he was a gluttonous marauder, trying to steal Yuuri.

The other eminent figure skaters were irate about Yuuri condoning Viktor's behavior and they hoped Yuuri wouldn't run away and tell himself that this monster in front of them didn't exist again.

"Get away from him!" Viktor quavered again.

The three kept their positions on the ground but stiffened in newfound fear. Viktor's eyes were filled with discernable love for his Katsudon. His eyes were so darkened that they almost looked inanimate and intrepid.

Phichit was the one to burst into tears. He couldn't win. He didn't have the spirit to.

"Please, Viktor, please," Phichit said through his tears.

Yuuri positioned his head slightly upwards as he stared in astonishment at his Thai skater friend.

Otabek moved his eyes to the corner of his vision, looking at the one who first relinquished the fight against Viktor.

"Viktor," Yurio pleadingly said, "Just stop, you can wait."

"So can you then," Viktor responded back, looking straight into Yuuri's eyes.

Christophe looked at his men to his left and right side, he knew that he couldn't win.

Christophe slowly got up from his couched position and started walking towards Viktor.

"What are you doing?" Viktor asked, expecting an answer, "You're trying to trick me, AREN'T YOU? YOU'RE TRYING TO TRICK ME!"

Viktor held his knife up to his chest and he positioned his legs into a more favorable position. He furrowed his brows and his pupils grew smaller and smaller, succumbing into madness.

"GET AWAY, GET AWAY, GET AWAY!"

They all looked in horror in front of them.

" _GETAWAYGETAWAYGETAWAYGETAWAY!"_

Christophe was in an arm length away from Viktor when Christophe pounced onto him.

"It's okay," Christophe patted Viktor's back, "It will all be okay."

Viktor's pupils grew and shrank, he too began hyperventilating as he remembered what he did with the knife, it was stuck into Christophe's abdomen as he was hugging him.

* * *

 **AAANNNnDDD it's a wrap. I literally haven't been able to think of what to do during the middle of the forest scene. I wrote fifty words and then deleted them, then waited a day and wrote some more and deleted them.**

 **Kidnapped cliché, I'll put some more beast girl and neko girl clichés in here, (literally just the start of this new world), harem member comes out of weird place cliché, arm in middle of breasts cliché and the protag doesn't rip it off.**

 **Bye bye!**


	6. Campfire

**This is Cliche and I'm back after what seems to be months. Sadly (to you, probably), this may be the second to last chapter. I've got other fics to attend to than a crack one.**

 **I hope that you enjoy my work. Also, shield your eyes!**

* * *

 _Cliche 6 Previously_

 _The harem was transported to an alternate world of beastgirls and such. WIth the yandere gone, the other members take Yuuri into the forest and try to share him. Viktor falls down from a tree and Christophe gets stabbed._

* * *

 _Cliche 6_

 _In the forest_

"It's okay," Christophe patted Viktor's back, "It will all be okay."

Viktor's pupils brew and shrank, he too began hyperventilating as he remembered what he did with the knife, it was stuck into Christophe's abdomen as he was hugging him.

"I-I'm so sorry," Viktor said in shame as he looked over his shoulder at Yuuri.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry…" Viktor's rantings continued and began to make a background noise as Yuuri stared on at the scene in front of him.

The other four stared in shock.

Otabek slowly got up from his catcher's position on the ground as he slowly made his way toward Viktor.

"I-I'm working towards a medical career…" Otabek started. "I-I think I could save him…"

Viktor shifted his gaze and kept the knife in his abdomen, he made no sign of violence as Otabek approached.

"It-It'll all be okay," Yuuri said as tears dripped down his cheeks. "Right?"

They miraculously patched Christophe up.

* * *

 _Beach_

The sun was nowhere to be seen as the tide rolled up on the seashore. The sea was a deep, dark blue color with black was speckled sporadically through it. The white foam created by the crashing waves splashed onto the dusty tan sand, leaving its mark.

Five men who had just come from the forest appeared on the horizon. Christophe limped while he used Otabek's shoulder as a stabilizer while Phichit gave moral support. Yurio walked in between Yuuri and Christophe while he kept a close eye on the depressed Viktor.

Yuuri trudged through the sand; he felt it mesh in between his toes and cool the bottom of his feet. He kept his eyes forward to the now abandoned beach. Footprints were left and created anew.

The harem decided quickly to build a campfire. It wasn't like they had money with them pertaining to the magical world they were in right now and they also didn't know if they spoke the same language as the natives.

Yuuri sat on a log that Viktor had set down while he kept a sharp eye on the wounded-and-on-the-ground Christophe.

"Y-You like what you see?" Christophe asked, a smile appeared on his face.

Yuuri frowned. "You nearly died…"

Christophe shifted onto his right shoulder and the light emitted from the fire now let his face show. His eyes wandered to the silver haired man slowly making his way to their little campsite.

"I forgive him," Christophe said, his gaze never leaving the Russian figure skater's form.

Yuuri squelched his gasp.

"I-I see."

Phichit and Otabek returned with marshmallows and graham crackers.

"Where'd you get those?" Yurio asked, attentively leaning over the fire to the two.

Phichit stuck his tongue out and put his fingers into a 'V' formation before putting them by his eye. "I always bring snacks!"

Christophe clapped from the ground.

They manically roasted marshmallows over the fire as time flew by.

"When we get back, I want to skate with all of you," Yuuri said.

* * *

 **I'm too distracted to write more. Sadly, it's almost as if the crack has been slowly disintegrating.**

 **I'll have another chapter.**

 **Bye!**


	7. Fire

**I'll maybe have a few more chapters maybe something akin to three. I hope you enjoy this crack, I personally find it to be so hilarious and so out of the norm that it works. I bet a few people passed this by because of it being a harem, believe me, I would've passed it by if it was just a harem but when I put "making fun of a harem fic" I would've been drawn in.**

 **I got a devious idea halfway through and methodically laughed.**

 **I got motivation to continue this because I want to make a YouTube!AU of Ereri.**

 **LET'S GO!**

* * *

 _Cliché 7_

The sun had set hours ago but it was surprisingly warm on the beach. With the campfire in front of them not close to going out, it seemed as if they weren't going to go to sleep that night.

Christophe laid on his side with this chin cupped by his hand while the other members of the harem sat on the great big log perpendicular to Christophe's body.

Viktor's blue eyes reflected the sparks which flew from the fire as he sat to the left of Yurio who was next to Yuuri on the end.

Phichit jumped off the oak log and landed on the cool sand. "Let's have a trust test!" Phichit said with a smile.

They all turned their heads toward the Thai skater with dumbfounded expressions on their faces.

"A-A trust test?" Otabek questioned, his voice quavering.

Phichit moved his eyes to Otabek's and nodded. "Why not? Let's go find a cave in the mountain."

Yurio started shaking in his seat, he turned his gaze down and put his arm through Yuuri's.

"I-I don't want to!" Yurio said. He was secretly afraid of ghosts.

Yuuri looked at their arms interlocked and gave a slight smile to Yurio, "It'll be alright, I can protect you."

The other members of the harem had blood running down their noses at those words. Yurio slowly looked up from his feet and saw Yuuri's face close to his.

"Y-Y-You, BAKA!" Yurio said before slapping the man.

Viktor's eyes seethed in anger, he subconsciously put his hand into a fist but he kept his seat on the log.

"Owww…" Yuuri's cheek turned red while he rubbed his right hand on the point of impact. "What did I do?" He asked, ignorantly.

Christophe said, from the floor, "If only you'd said that to me."

Yurio pushed his head onto his knees as he held his head away from Yuuri. He was as red as a tomato.

Viktor lost his knife in the woods so he ripped of a sharp piece of bark off the log and put it in the waistband of his black jeans.

"You up for it?" Phichit asked the squad.

Otabek answered for all of them, "Let's do it. When looking for firewood I saw a seaside cave to the east."

"Let's go there then."

Yuuri stood up and gave a hand for Christophe. "Where's JJ?" Yuuri asked.

"YOUUUU BASTARDS!" A loud shout came from the other end of the beach. "WHY THE HELL DID YOU LEAVE ME HERE?!"

Jean Jacques came sprinting at an impossible speed to the campfire. "YOU LEFT ME ALONE IN ANOTHER WORLD!"

"He's right there," Viktor said, as soon as JJ stopped just a few feet in front of the campfire.

JJ bent down and rested his hands on his knees, he took deep breaths until he shifted his head a few centimeters to see Christophe on the ground.

"Woah, what happened to you, Chris?" Jean remarked.

They all paled except for Viktor.

Christophe answered, "A native stabbed me in the stomach."

Viktor paled and sweat drops flew down his face.

Phichit smiled at JJ and said, "Let's go."

"Where are we going?" JJ asked, his head looking around cautiously.

While the others got off the log and Christophe got off the ground, Otabek tried to stomp on the fire, it ended it backfiring.

Red and orange flames flew up his black pant leg.

Yuuri, Viktor, Yurio, Phichit, Jean Jacques, and Christophe turned when they heard a slapping sound.

"OH MY GOD, OTABEK ARE YOU OKAY!?" Yuuri screamed.

Otabek surprisingly didn't scream, his mouth was stuck open in an 'O' formation though. His hands patted on his pant leg but it didn't go out. He quickly looked up for a moment to see the other members of the harem coming over with the water behind him and decided to act.

Otabek ran towards the water and the flames spread farther up his leg. He jumped and did a cannonball into the water. Relief spread through all their bodies but when Otabek came back out of the water, they gasped.

Otabek was now wearing booty shorts. The fire burnt his jeans.

"ARE WE IN SOME CRACK STORY OR SOMETHING?!" Jean Jacques yelled.

Otabek looked down and his face blew up. Steam flew out of his ears as his face turned dark red.

"L-Let's just go…" Otabek said as he walked to his squad in shame.

* * *

The harem members stood outside the purple cave. Phichit fumbled his hand in his bag, seemingly trying to find something, while Otabek licked his pointer finger before holding it up facing the cave.

After a few silent moments, Otabek deduced, "There's an opening on the other side."

"Found it!" Phichit said with a girn on his lightly tanned face.

"Found what?" Yuuri turned his head to his left.

"Jannn…" Phichit let out a sound as he showed three flashlights in his hands.

Yurio snapped his hand and held the yellow and black light source to his upper chest. "Pick whatever partner you want, Baka," He said.

The other members of the harem just looked at him with dumbfounded expressions on their faces.

Viktor was the next one to grab the flashlight.

Once Phichit was left with one, he swatted JJ's hand away. "It's mine," Phichit said with a gleeful smile.

Jean Jacques looked at Phichit with a face filled of utter disgust at the Thai man. "You're fucking trash, man."

Phichit got a tick mark on his forehead above his right eyebrow but didn't respond.

"Who's going first then?" Christophe asked.

The harem members looked amoungst themselves first, then to Yuuri, and then to the Canadian figure skater.

JJ started sweatdropping once he saw devious faces atop of the others coming near him.

"N-No I don't even have a flashlight! GET AWAY!" JJ screamed.

Yuuri blinked his eyes twice at the display.

JJ was pushed down to the ground in the cave by mainly Viktor, Christophe, and Yurio.

* * *

 **Good enough. I'll give myself a few moments to think about what to do down there. Oh… maybe that… but I kinda… Yeah, I'll probably do that.**

 **Goodluck on your adventures.**


	8. Cave

**I really want to make an Youtube!Au of EreRi. I really do. I really want to but I must finish this first. I need to.**

 **Someone pulled the fire alarm at our school afterhours during sport training. We all ran out of the locker rooms fearing for our lives.**

 **This is crack, might I remind you. Don't question what I write.**

* * *

 _Cliché 8_

JJ was pushed down to the ground in the cave by mainly Viktor, Christophe, and Yurio. He looked up from the cold, purple ground and felt a horrible feeling in his chest.

"W-Why do I have to go first?!" Jean Jacques asked.

Yuuri watched in horror as they replied, "No reason." Simultaneously.

Just as the Japanese dime a dozen figure skater was about to hold his hand out and say, "Stop it", JJ brushed off his jeans and ran into the cave with his eyes closed.

Yuuri blinked and he ran after Jean.

Viktor and Yurio followed quickly after with Christophe, Phichit, and Otabek in his booty shorts following behind. Yurio ran with his flashlight on and Viktor and Phichit followed his example.

They flew through the cave, feeling the walls as they heard the footsteps in front of them getting farther and farther away.

"MAARRRCCOOO!" Viktor yelled.

Jean cried out because the words found his soul. He ran straight into a diverging fork in the cavern path. He hit the purple rock with his face and cut his right hand. He gasped in pain and looked around in the darkness that he could somehow see in.

"Jean!" Yuuri called from behind him. "Come back here!"

Jean didn't want to be caught up in this harem. It was fucking disgusting. "OH, HELL NO!" Jean yelled before taking the left pathway.

Yuuri ran blindly through the darkness and hit the same fork in the road as Jean. His glasses snapped in half and his ankle somehow kicked the purple rock in the running into process.

Yuuri just broke his ankle. He cried out in pain.

"SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!" Yuuri screamed in the cave while graveling on the floor, holding his broken ankle.

As Yuuri's cries sounded throughout the cave, it reached all of the harem member's ears along with Jean's in a few moments.

Viktor ran faster with is flashlight in hand as he ran through the cavern. Yurio pushed Viktor's form to the side while running and made Viktor scrape his arm.

"You motherfucker!" Viktor seethed while putting pressure on his new wound.

Yurio kept moving towards Yuuri's cries while Christophe ran behind Yurio and Otabek handed a bandage to Viktor. Phichit, being the hamster he was, ran up behind Yurio and latched onto his form. Yurio didn't slow down with the extra weight.

The hamster rode on the shoulders of the tiger while the mother bear, horny prostitute, and killer bee ran after them.

They reached Yuuri shortly after and Yurio tripped over the Japanese man. Yurio with Phichit on his back were in a position in front of Yuuri's crotch area.

"W-What're you doing, you baka!" Yurio fumed. "It's not like I want to be in this position or anything?!"

Phichit's eyes glistened with stars in them. "Am I in heaven?"

"I'm hurt!" Yuuri half-yelled. "I'm in pain!"

Phichit placed his flashlight down and said, "Where's Jean?"

Yurio tched. "He probably doesn't want to get involved with a harem…"

Yuuri furrowed his brows and forgot his pain for a moment. "A harem…?"

Yurio ignored him before taking off his tiger sweatshirt and wrapping it over Yuuri's forehead.

"…"

Viktor, Christophe, and Otabek came running shortly after. They were led by Viktor's flashlight.

"You okay?" Otabek called while closing in on them.

Yuuri's eyes glistened after he pushed Phichit's and Yurio's faces out of his crotch area. "I think I broke my ankle…"

Viktor furrowed his eyebrows in disgust. "Jean did that to you?" the silver haired ice skater asked.

Yuuri's eyes widened and he put his hands out as if to defend himself. "No, it wasn't Jean's fault…"

Viktor stopped a few feet in front of Yuuri's form on the ground and hissed. "I don't believe you."

Christophe glowered at Viktor. "I doubt Jean would do that to him."

"IT'S JJ STYLE!" a loud noise came through the cave from a different direction from the entrance.

"C-Can someone lift me up?" Yuuri transferred his gaze upward to the taller men.

Viktor was the one to first pick Yuuri up and hold him in princess style but Yurio, Christophe, Otabek, and Phichit tried to claim him as their own.

Yuuri with a tiger sweatshirt tied around his head ended up laying down in the arms of five men. He hid his blushing face in Phichit's elbow.

They went out the other side of the cave and found JJ sitting on the beach with his phone taking selfies.

They sat on the beach for the remainder of the night and they were magically transported back to the Katsuki's residence.

* * *

 **There will be one more chapter and it's kinda an epilogue. It'll be them trying to kill a bug in their house. I won't go into what happens afterward (marriage) and things like that because that generally doesn't happen in harem manga/anime.**


	9. Epilogue

**Imma goin' southern for a moment. 'Yall r a bunch ov ungrateful sunz of bietachez.**

 **LET'S FINISH THIS UP, GUYS! THIS AS AN EPILOGUE. IT'S ALMOST LIKE AN** **EPIC** **LOGUE.**

 **I'll listening to Boku no Hero Academia S1 OP in the background. This is going to be hard to write and not sing. Plus it's hard to listen and write at the same time, I literally rewrote four words already, five.**

* * *

 _Cliche epilogue_

 _Yuuri's house (a week later after they got back from the other world)_

"KKYYAAAAAAAA!" A loud feminine scream sounded through the onsen vacation spot/house.

Otabek leaned half of his apron clad body out of the kitchen and into the tatami mat hallway as Viktor and Christophe stopped cutting the carrots for stew at the kitchen counter.

"Was that Yuuri?" Otabek asked, looking back at the two other harem members.

Viktor shook his head, "No, that was Yurio. Definitely."

Otabek gained a pink blush on his cheeks. "Haha!" Otabek croaked. "That's great!"

"OHMYGODWHATTHEHELLISTHAT!?"

Viktor grabbed Christophe's butcher knife from his hand and dual wielded them as he pushed Otabek out of the door to the hallway.

Christophe shook himself out of shock and muttered a, "Come on!" to Otabek in the frilly pink apron.

Viktor barreled through the hallway to Yuuri's room, where he heard the scream.

"YURIO!" Viktor yelled as he closed in on the heavyset door. "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU IN MY KATSUDON'S ROOM?!"

There was no response except for the continuing screams in the room.

Viktor kicked the door down with his right foot as he readied his knives in his hands.

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" Viktor threatened.

Phichit front flipped over Viktor's head into Yuuri's room.

Phichit adorned a yellow jumpsuit, red rubber gloves and boots, and white cape. He also had a normal black belt around his waist.

"I'LL SAVE YOU, YUURI!" Phichit yelled as he struggled to get off the ground.

Yuuri looked painfully at two who had just stepped (forced/thrown themselves) into the room. Yuuri was trembling as he stood on his nightstand with Yurio holding his waist, staring underneath the bed like there was a monster under it and that the floor was lava.

"THERE WAS A FUCKING COCKROACH ALRIGHT!?" Yurio explained in a fervent, fearful, and embarrassed voice.

Otabek and Christophe stomped down the hallway down to Yuuri's room.

"A cockroach?" Otabek questioned.

"A COCKroach?" Christophe emphasized the 'cock' part with a deep, red, and lusty face.

Phichit got into a cliche kung-fu position and got ready to chop the bed in half.

Yuuri and Yurio turned their bodies on top of the nightstand and watched Phichit closely.

Viktor furrowed his eyebrows but did nothing otherwise.

Phichit closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath before he yelled, "HAAAAAAAAAA!" and brought his flexed hand down onto the bed.

It snapped in half.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Yuuri screamed.

Viktor, Otabek, and Christophe in the doorway just looked on in awe.

"If only Yuuri did that to me…" Christophe said underneath his breath.

Phichit brought his hand back to his chest and he smiled to his phone camera that he just brought out.

"A pic, everyone!" Phichit exclaimed.

A picture was taken of the event. It was the ending of their crack story.

Phichit was in the middle of the photo with his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth.

Yurio had an enraged look on his face with a 'tch' mark on his forehead above his left eyebrow.

Viktor had no threatening look on his face as he now smiled at the camera with the butcher knives at his sides.

Christophe mimicked Phichit's expression except he had a sexyer version of it.

Otabek held his hand out in a wave as he had a grin on his face.

And Yuuri had a loving smile on his face as he looked at the camera with cross eyes.

Phichit posted the photo and looked at its reviews.

9 reviews

26 favorites

30 followers

2,798 views.

"I enjoyed this," They all said.

 _Cliche est fin_

* * *

 **Good luck on your future journey, my friends. I hope you have many wonderful lives in front of you. Thank you all.**

 **I needn't say any more.**


End file.
